Survivor Guilt
by LancerZavie
Summary: Pre to post-game Zestiria short stories following Zaveid's travels and the people he met along the way. (Lots of background speculation etc.)
1. Chapter 1

It made Zaveid feel guilty but it was for the best. He counted off the top of his head; this was the sixth friend who had succumb to malevolence within the past decade. The others were getting worried, and it dawned on him that their travels together might not last much longer. The previous day he had had a discussion with Eizen and they decided it was best to have Dezel out of harms way.

"Where are we going?" The young wind seraph asked the older. He gazed up to the other's discontented face as they strolled through Pearloats Pasture. "Zaveid?"

"Hey, so…" He began. "I'm going to take you to see my friend Larfarga. He's a wind seraph too."

"How come the other's aren't coming?" Though still young, Dezel could figure out that the older seraph was acting strange.

"Nah just us…Actually-" Zaveid stopped and let go of Dezel's hand. He kneeled down and put his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Listen, you saw the other day right? When Undine turned into a hellion?"

"The water seraph lady?"

"Yeah, this isn't the first time one of us has turned. We were able to get away in time but if it happens again well…it's probably not best that a kid goes and travels with us to such dangerous places anyway."

"Am I in the way?"

"No, no, uh." Zaveid scratched his head. "It'd be bad if I let you get hurt. You're still young and you have all this time to grow up and then uh maybe we can travel again, okay?" He noticed Dezel's distraught face. "Don't worry! You'll love Lafarga! He takes care of other kids your age too; I bet it'll be _way_ more fun than hanging out with us!"

"Mm." Dezel held his hands together and began to slow his trail behind Zaveid.

* * *

"Ah, so you're Dezel? How are you my lad?" Lafarga asked enthusiastically. He kneeled down to face the child at eye level. "Don't worry you'll enjoy your time with us!" Behind, several young seraph chased each other in a game of tag in the field.

"Thanks, Lafarga I owe you one." Zaveid said.

"No, no. I'm glad to be taking on another wind seraph; it's always nice to meet others with the same affinity as you. By the way, how are you holding up?" Lafarga immediately recognized Zaveid's downtrodden face. "How many?"

"Six. That doesn't include other's I've only been acquainted with." Zaveid sighed.

" _Six?_ That's truly unfortunate. It's as if the land is changing…there's more malevolence as of late. Perhaps another age of chaos approaches…"

"Yeah so…we're going to recoup and see what happens from there."

"What are you planning to do?"

"Who knows. I have to get back to Eizen and see what the deal is. It sucks you know? Seeing your friends turn into that."

"It's the destiny of a long lived seraph, my friend."

"I know… but don't go getting yourself killed or malevolent on me too ya hear?" Zaveid managed a grin.

"Of course, I have to take care of young Dezel here, right?"

Zaveid noticed Dezel looking wearily at him. He took a deep breath. "Aw don't give me that face, Dez." He knelt down and cupped the boy's hands; he let go revealing two pendulums with wing ornaments. "You can have these, I know you've been practicing with those pebbles." He laughed. Dezel looked at them in awe and held them out. "You can have my set alright? Maybe next time I see you you'll be able to use them better than me! When you become a man we'll have a duel, alright?" Dezel nodded solemnly. In a few years time he would forget Zaveid's face…


	2. Chapter 2

" _Killed_?" Zaveid asked, wide eyed.

"When we were traveling through Zaphgott Moor…some bandits saw Aska and shot arrows. We weren't paying attention and a few of them went straight through his chest." Eizen was shaking.

"Bandits….They had resonance?"

"Wh-when…Volt saw he…he went berserk. He turned into a hellion and killed all of them. He didn't even recognize me, I didn't know what to do so I ran." Eizen gripped his head.

Zaveid was in disbelief. He settled himself on the grass next to Eizen who was trying to hold back tears. The wind seraph brought an arm out and laid it on the other's shoulder. "At least you made it out ok."

" **Made it out**?! **Zaveid-!"** Eizen stood up. "All of our friends are either **dead** or they're **hellions**! I can't…I can't take this anymore." He gritted his teeth. "Every time its because of those filthy humans! The wars, the banditry, and murder…always causing malevolence and _we're_ the ones who feel it and suffer! It's not—"

"Hey, hey take it easy."

"I can't stand it…We were all having so much fun…"

Zaveid remained calm, outwardly anyway. He could feel a pit in his stomach and his mind was racing, just several days prior he was sitting around a fire with all of them _laughing_.

"Eizen-"

" _I hate them_ **. I hate them, I wish they'd all disappear."**

" **Eizen**." Zaveid growled. Eizen turned, his face enraged. "You can't think like that…humans are dumb, they make mistakes, they don't know what they're doing half the time but-"

" _Then they should just kill each other off_ , why should we suffer for their mistakes."

"Eizen…that way of thinking is going to breed malevolence. You know that." He said gravely. He heard the other give a dark chuckle.

"Yeah, maybe. I'd end up like the otherss, huh?

"Come on, man. I'm trying to take this all in too. Just…calm down."

"Haha… How can you be so relaxed about this." The earth seraph took a deep shaky breath and wiped away his tears. "

Zaveid didn't say anything. He fiddled with a small yellow flower in his palm. This wasn't like Eizen. This wasn't the happy go lucky friend he had set out on a journey with. The one who loved going into large towns full of people to discover what new inventions the humans had made. Not the pure seraph that would tear up every time they saw something new and beautiful like an ancient ruin or frozen waterfall. Not the brother who would find souvenirs on their trips to bring back to his little sister. This wasn't Eizen.

"Hey, Zaveid."

"Hm?"

"Can you promise me something?"

"Yeah?"

"If I ever turn into a hellion, please-please kill me."

Zaveid's eyes didn't move from the small flower between his fingers. He examined it with fake interest. "That's a lot to ask for." He placed the flower in his palm. "But" He stood up. "You have my word. Although, what makes you think _I_ wouldn't turn into a hellion first?" He challenged.

"Out of all of us…that's the least likely. You never get angry or depressed and you're an all around decent guy…minus the skirt chasing." Zaveid grinned at that. "You seem to just have this zest for life you know?"

"But you did too…" Zaveid mumbled. He looked up at the darkening sky, it was going to rain. "In truth, it'd be bad if either of us turned into hellions."

"What do you mean? Because we're technically high ranking seraphim?" Eizen snorts. "Do you really believe we'd become dragons?"

"Who knows."

He gripped the flower and offered it to Eizen. "Hey, but tell me. If worse comes to worse can I marry your sister?"

Eizen punched right into Zaveid's abdomen, he fell to his knees and coughed a few times but then started laughing once he got his breath back. He managed to get the other to laugh too and it felt as if everything was ok at that moment.

"Guess this is it then. I take it you'll go back to Spiritcrest."

"Yeah, Edna is probably worried about me, and I miss her."

"I'll come visit soon."

"She'll hate that, but looking forward to it."


	3. Chapter 3

From the distance it looked as the though entire mountain was on fire. The sky was a deep purple and smoke billowed from all around. Zaveid rushed up the mountain and maneuvered his way through half burnt corpses on the ground. His heart raced, this couldn't be what he thought it was.

"Edna?! Edna!" He yelled. "Edna, where are you?!" He came upon a river of molten lava, bodies were being enveloped by it as it inched closer. He used the wind to levitate onto some high rocks and scouted the area. The domain's aura created a crushing feeling in his chest. He couldn't recall a time that he'd ever felt something so powerful. Just then he heard a loud grumble from above and spotted something enormous. A dragon.

" _No…_ " Zaveid whispered. He jumped off the current cliff and proceeded further up the mountain. The wind seraph continued to call the girl's name but there was no answer. At last he reached the summit, the first step forward brought him down to one knee. This was the center of the domain, his chest tightened and he struggled to breathe. As he looked up he saw the dragon swoop down, its nostrils flared and a trail of smoke left its lips. In front of it he could make out the small figure of a girl. It was Edna.

"Eizen.." Edna cried. "Eizen!"

"Edna, get away from there!" Zaveid lassoed a pendulum around her and pulled her back.

"Let go! Let go! Eizen! **EIZEN**!"

"T-that's, not Eizen anymore." Zaveid struggled to hold Edna down. The dragon stared at them but didn't move. The wind seraph gazed into its eyes, the same golden hue of his friend's but ghosted over with a look of evil. He knew then, there was no turning back. "We have to go."

"No."

"Edna."

" _NO!"_ She shoved Zaveid back with her umbrella. "I'm not leaving my brother, I'm not…" Fat tears fell from her face and trailed down her cheeks. "I can't leave him." Just then the dragon struck out its wings and hovered, Eizen seemed to spare their lives and fly away toward another mountain range. They both watched in a shocked stupor as the dragon's figure disappeared in the distance and Edna finally fell to her knees and gave out a great sob.

Zaveid had stuck around for the next several weeks, he watched as Edna cradled herself in the darkness of a cave. One where she and her brother kept old books and antiques. She would occasionally pick one up and read only to put it back down once she began tearing up again. Outside they could see Eizen return every so often. He didn't particularly do anything at the summit, just sleep a few hours before flying off, supposedly to catch and eat any stragglers below. Zaveid wondered if Eizen's consciousness was still in there, he hadn't bothered attacking him or Edna. How long that would last was uncertain but it seemed as though the Edna had the same idea.

"Zaveid, you don't have to stay here. After all I'm not leaving."

"You expect me to leave a lady alone atop a mountain with a dragon on it?"

"I've been thinking…maybe there's a way. A way to turn a dragon back into a seraph-"

"Edna, you know that's not—"

"What about…purification? Maybe from a shepherd or two?!" She sounded frantic. Zaveid let out a low defeating sigh. Out of all his travels he'd never heard of any way to do such a thing. "Or maybe there's something like an elixir that can cure malevolence." By the way she spoke, Zaveid knew that she didn't even trust her own words. "There _has_ to be way…"

Tears formed at the corner of her eyes once more. The wind seraph slid himself down against the wall of the cave and rested his arms on his knees. He honestly wanted to cry too. The whole situation was hopeless. He stilled his heart as he lost count of the amount of seraphs he'd known who had turn hellion. Edna's sniffles in the background did little to sooth him and he winced when he heard Eizen's roars from outside. His gaze turned to the dragon's silhouette, at that moment the crushing realization that the creature before them wasn't Eizen anymore hit. Just another hellion wrought on this earth. Then he remembered.

"Edna." Zaveid got up and walked toward the girl. "I'm going to leave tomorrow. Will you come with me?"

"You know I can't."

"If I leave you will you be okay? Will you promise to stay away from Eizen?" Zaveid's voice was serious almost threatening, his orange eyes glowed in the darkness of the cave.

"I'll stay here…this is where I've…we've been my whole life. Even if we're not together I want to be near him."

"You better be alive when I return you hear?"

"As if I'd want to see you again." She sniffed.


End file.
